The Sister Who Laughed the Hardest.
Older, single women have always to be on guard and savvy so as not to be taken in by scams. People who should know better have fallen prey and into the scammers clutches.
Younger Sister [YS] was upstairs in the house, when she heard the land line telephone ring. It rang until it automatically disconnected. Then the cell phone of Older Sister [OS] rang. It too rang until it ran out of rings. Alternately this continued for three times until YS heard OS enter the house and pick up the telephone.
‘Hello. Yes. No. That’s my home address. Yes.”
At this point YS who had been standing at the top of the stairs to come down, but didn’t want to break into the privacy of a personal call, yelled over the banister,
“Don’t give them any more information!” “Hang up!” Still shouting from the stairs,
“You never verify some caller’s information.”
YS sprints down the stairs, sermon on the tip of her tongue, while OS is hanging up the phone. YS begins:
“There are lots of scams out there and one way people get taken, is verifying back to a caller, the information proffered. You never give anything out to anyone who has telephoned you.” OS stands there.
“What did the caller ask you?, YS queries.
‘ She asked if this was my address and I said yes it was my home address, and she said she would come with a document for me to sign at 1:00 in the afternoon on this coming Wednesday.’
“OH NO” YS exclaims. “Who did she say she was?”
‘She said’, replies OS “Irina from Chase bank’.
Because of the breach at Target Stores there had indeed been a rash of scam callers posing to be from Chase. YS is glad she has nipped this one in the bud. While YS is about to continue, cell phone rings. YS advises OS not to answer. OS looks at the caller ID and says that it is the same call number. She doesn’t answer. Good. She understands.
House telephone rings again. Same number as before, a 503 number but nothing further. The rings alternate between home and cell and then stop. In the silence, YS explains to OS how scammers read the obits and wait six months before preying on the widow. How because she, the OS, is sympathetic to the Russian immigrant community that clearly some scoundrel relative of one or another of her acquaintances, has been milked for information about OS. YS continues to elucidate and generalize how these Eastern European girls are often held in captivity in call rooms and have to work for a pimp; an awful racket it is. Frequently it is a sexual captivity. As this monologue is being delivered, once again the house telephone rings.
“Here”, says OS “you answer it!” and with that hands YS the cordless phone.
“Hello”, says YS who of course has a similar voice pattern to OS, “Joe’s Bar and Grill, may I take a reservation?”
“Oh”, says caller with surprise, “I didn’t want Joe’s, I am calling this number.
“Well”, said YS, “This is Joe’s and we’d be only too happy to make a reservation for you”.
“No”, continues female Russian accented caller, “I am calling to______”. She repeats the home address.
“Oh”, replies YS, “We are in the village and would love to have you drop by.”
“That is not why I call, I must have the wrong number, but I call this number before and it was right number”, she replies in the most obvious confusion.
“That can happen”, says YS smiling and hangs up the phone. “There” confirms YS, “That should take care of that.” YS shares how the idea of answering with Joe’s was what eldest brother often did [may he rest in peace]. She expresses delight at how well it worked here and how clever the sisters were to have shorted this scam. YS gives OS another example of an actress friend who was duped just this week and how one has to have their wits about them. As YS leaves to go upstairs she hears OS call neighbor friend to tell her to watch out for Chase telephone scam. A good thing to do to warn another Senior. Sometime later, YS passes through kitchen and hears OS on telephone to daughter telling her about the scam. OS gets off phone and says that daughter has advised her to telephone the local police and ask for someone to come on Wednesday when the woman is coming to ‘sign the documents’.
Both sisters agree this is sound advice.
OS puts in call to local police station. Local police says, they won’t show up, but they and OS can phone the scammer and tell them that the police will be waiting for them. More good ideas sisters agree. Sisters speak briefly about the perils of singledom and OS interrupts to call son who lives in another state to tell him. He isn’t home, but OS speaks with daughter-in-law. As YS realizes that OS is initiating these calls to her children, YS proffers the thought that maybe telling our children about our foibles isn’t always such a good idea. Maybe we should not keep them abreast of all the stupid things we do. And perhaps there are better, more positive stories from which to get mileage. YS leaves the room.
Not much time passes before YS is interrupted by presence of OS who never comes upstairs but now is standing in upstairs bedroom of YS. Immediately YS sees that OS can barely speak. YS looks at her in concern. OS is trying to tell her something, but she can’t get it out, as she doubles over. In pain? With cramps? YS is increasingly concerned. OS straightens up and YS sees tears in her eyes and OS is still unable to speak and bending over forward again.
It takes a Malcolm Gladwell ‘blink’ to realize that OS is laughing. She is laughing so hard, she can neither speak, nor stop bending double from laughter. When she finally gets her breath, she begins with,
“You are not going to believe this!”
and again doubles over. When she rights herself, she continues.
“I just had an irate call, [more laughter] from son-in-other-state. He wants to know whatever am I doing?! He says he has a desk full of pink slips, generated by calls from his bank. The bank says when they try to call his mother, either the phone isn’t answered, or someone says it’s Joes. What is going on, why this mountain of confusion? What are you doing? He sternly asks.”
And she bends over again, laughing so hard, she can not continue. When she does come up for air, she relates that said son, with whom she is doing a business transaction, had planned for his bank Chase, to come to her house to have the documents signed, to save her the inconvenience of going to the bank office downtown; this is a service and what was she thinking in making it so confusing. She finally straightens up at the end of the tale still laughing with tears on her cheeks.
“He might have forewarned you no?” asks YS. “And what bank customer service representative fails to introduce and explain herself when calling?”
And now both sisters are doubled over with tears streaming down their cheeks imagining the other side of the tale.